A Sweet Glistening

The ‘Chemo Cave’ is not as bad as you would think. I have a beautiful room, full of air and light and when the windows are open I can hear the birds and feel the sweet breeze on my face. That, with the quiet hum of the circular saws and methodical nail guns that echo throughout the construction sites surrounding us, is a meditative paradise.

My room is full of inspiration, with photos, flowers,  drawings,  and notes everywhere which make me so happy and keeps me going. The Brave Man has set up a fancy sound system, so I get to listen to our favourite French music, jazz and others, which takes me back to different happy times in my life, as only music can do.
Me and my Dad on my wedding day
Today I listen to Blossom Dearie, music my beautiful and kind Dad introduced me to when I was a kid.
As I lie here in the chemo haze and fuzziness, life’s thoughts drift in and out. Naturally most of  them about my little fairy and the Brave Man’s future and hoping like anything, that I will be there with them. I think about what I can do now, so that Sienna will always remember me if anything was to happen. Putting together letters, photos, cards, stories about what I was like when I was little, so memories don’t fade.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a sad thing to do, it’s nice to look back and see what a lovely life it has been.

My Dad a Wise Man
One thing my mind distracts me with is, what would I like Sienna to learn about in life. How will she learn to value others, how can I teach her the wisdom to weather life’s inevitable challenges. To get through them and use the experience to be a better person. Will she reach her full potential as a beautiful and compassionate person that I know she will be?
How does this all happen if I’m not around?
Don’t worry I’m not going down the spin cycle of ‘woe is me’, just a few little questions and thoughts I have to run by myself.
The Brave Man and the Fairy
Happy to be home from cycling
Of course, there is no doubt that the Brave Man will be there by the little fairy’s side. He’s a wonderful father who, with his own beautiful and loving nature, will continue to  pass on everything that’s good within himself to Sienna. But what if he’s a husband grieving?

Someone turn that ‘spin cycle’ off!

So a few weeks ago I decided to invent the ‘Glistening’, a non-religious christening!
As Gary and I are not religious, we didn’t go down the path of ‘god parents’ or a christening. God, Jesus, second comings are just not part of our belief system, although we do gratefully accept any spare prayers from any denominations coming our way.
I did ask Sienna one day who was Jesus, and she replied, “You know mum, you say his name all the time”. “Jeezuz, I thought, she doesn’t miss a trick that kid!”
She did also, tell me that God worked at her school and even more impressive, was that God was a woman! Now that’s a perk of a private school I wasn’t aware of.
“It takes a village to raise up a child
African Proverb
I saw the Glistening as a lovely moment for a small gathering of family and friends to come together to show Sienna the love and support they have for her, now and in her future.

Of course, no  Glistening would be complete without Fairy Godmother’s!
The choice of Fairy Godmother’s were easy. My two beautiful besty troops’, who hold amazing qualities that compliment each other. They’re such unique and special people, and we know that as Sienna grows and spends time with them, she’ll be lucky enough to see what we see too.

Fairy Godmother’s
That and the fact they’re both very stylish, clever and are a good judge of character when it comes to husband choice!
All bases must be covered!
Me and my mum, the nurturer
Having ‘other mother’sor Fairy Godmothers, who Sienna could always turn to in times of need, happiness or advice, is something that I have always wanted for her. I know that they will always do what they can to keep her safe, happy and nurtured.
My stomach churns at the prospect of her being sad and missing me, and me not having my mummy arms around her to say, there there”.
I remember my own mum telling me, the hardest thing about when she lost my sister Megan, all those years ago, was not being able to put her arms around her and tell her that “everything  would be ok”.  I understand now, that terrible heartache my mum must have felt. There’s nothing like the natural instincts and protection of a mum for her child.
Sisterly Love

These thoughts are just passing thoughts that sometimes get caught up in my ‘spin cycle, leaving their little heart ache footprints as they just wander through.

So with the chosen Fairy Godmother’s , the celebrant, the cake and the designer confetti,  the Glistening was on!

The Glistening begins with the candle lighting
The Glistening Cake

Full of all the magical moments big and small including the knowledge and comfort that Sienna will always be looked after,whether I’m here or not.
                                                                   ‘Glistening Treats’

As I’m not up to my normal ‘retail rigour’, I decided to ‘online shop’ the whole Glistening, which felt great! Even the courier was glad to see me, and asked, “where you been ‘Ratchel’, I not see you for long time”?

Wishing Tree

Glistening Flower Cake
made by Aunty Kim
Sienna and I spent the days before making a Wishing Tree for guests to hang their wishes on for her future. She wrote her own personal wish for each guest, and each of her guests in turn, wrote one for her. My favourite being, “I wish Sienna could fly.”
Sienna’s Wish
Making it official

So the Glistening’s done and Sienna’s got her Fairy Godmother’s …… what next?? Renewing the vows?

A happy fairy
I still like the old joke about, the agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac who sat up all night, wondering if there really was a dog?

I think that’s me! ……. No, not the dog.

Ps Thanks my friend Rachel Devine for capturing all the beautiful moments with your lens.. 

4 thoughts on “A Sweet Glistening”

  1. Dear Rachel,
    You do not know me, but somehow maybe you do, on some level. I came upon your journal by way of search into ‘Glistenings’ having been asked to write a poem for one such event. Your journal is beautiful, and obviously comes from that deep space of Love which is the connection of all things; which is why I can be moved by what you write, not knowing you at all. I send you prayers from the Oneness of all things in whatever way you can receive them. I believe in no religion, just ‘That’ which supercedes them all.
    Love on your journey, Toni Jehan

    1. Hi Toni
      I can’t believe someone else is doing Glistenings on the other side of the world. I just made it up to suit our family value system. I’m happy to share anything with you if you like, including my writings and poems. Kind Regards Rachel

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