Our little routine!

November 1998
Had just met the Brave Man a week before
 and didn’t realise that this boy
sitting next to me would be the love of my life.

So now that I’ve started ‘the plan’, we have a new little routine in place.

Today I see my health stylist (oncologist) and go in for my second round of chemo. I always like to dress up in my finest, pack the make-up on and pretend there’s nothing wrong.

My little voice of denial inside of me thinks, “If I look ok when I see him, then he won’t tell me any bad news.”

So with the Brave Man by my side, in we go. I immediately tell my Health Stylist how good he looks given he’s just come back from a big conference in Chicago, ask him about the family, his dog (even though he doesn’t have one) and did you happened to find a cure for cancer since we last caught up? Anything to avoid him asking me about me.

Unfortunately, he knows me too well by now and brings the focus back to me, telling me not to avoid myself and asks how I’m doing. I figure if I tell him I’m super-dooper, he’ll believe me and won’t tell me anything bad. The Brave Man gets cross with me for talking through my ‘rose coloured backside’ and reminds me to tell the real truth. The sickness, the struggle to breathe, the abdomen and chest pain, the coughing, the swelling of my arm, and the list goes on. I’m just about as healthy as a one legged warthog!

About as a healthy as a one
legged Warthog!

Then he mentions the next scan is due soon. My heart sinks and my stomach feels like it’s been turned inside out. I go very quiet. The Brave Man takes the details in on when it will happen and what we need to do. Trying not to listen, I ask my Health Stylist if he’s sure that he doesn’t have a dog?

I normally don’t like asking questions for fear of the answers, but my little ‘brave person voice’ inside snuck out a question, I could have smacked her like a naughty child.

“What would you expect to see on my next scans?” I ask, hearing my voice & at the same time digging my fingernail into my leg trying to stop myself from finishing the question.

He says that he’s confident that the spots on my liver should be significantly reduced. That’s good enough for me and I give the Brave Man the look of, “let’s get the ‘one legged warthog’ out of here” before the little Brave person voice asks something else.
So off for the next round of ‘health nectar’.
After 4 hours in the chair, we finally make our way to my hospital bed.

My Health Nectar!

That afternoon in hospital as the chemo kicks in, I lie there tired and losing a bit of chipperness and watch my Brave Man diligently fill out my dinner menu, the standard medical history form and make phone calls organising Sienna’s pick up from school.

As I watch this amazing person, I think about the day we met and I never could have imagined how lucky I really was.

My thoughts are interrupted when he makes a funny comment about the form and we laugh so much.
I just love how much I love him and how much he makes me laugh. And I love our little routine.

 Getting some little peron’s 
 help pushing around the
      Coming into visit me in hospital, Sienna
      brings her little friend Gem.Seems like the
     ‘up and down’bed and the remote control TV
      was more exciting than me!
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